Against All Odds...

"And He will Heal those who trust Him, 
and make their hearts as Gold."

I do not come from a background of sound principles on marriage. In fact I come from a background in which opposes marital balance.  When I read about “Purging the poison” which afflicts generations, it was very fitting for the patterns set forth in my family lines.  I like to believe that I have a transitional character, and I fight for my posterity to not pass on contention and disbelief.

A few years ago, I found myself in a position I never thought possible.  After all, I was married in the temple.  This meant that we lived happily ever after, right?  Due to many factors that entangled and suffocated our marriage, my husband and I ended up separated for a time.  This was the hardest trial of my life.   Both my husband and I were tried at a very deep levels with our faith in what marriage can be, and how to fully forgive one another for our own shortcomings. 

Shortly after my husband and I separated, I went on lds.org and wanted to read about what the prophets, apostles, and brethren said about divorce.  When I read the document titled, "Divorce", by Elder Dallin H. Oaks https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng&_r=1,and my heart immediately knew that the healing balm for our shortcomings was complete repentance.  The answer for our marital strife wasn’t divorce, but it was to repent.  I also clung to the hope that if the Lord and I were on a team in saving our marriage, then we could hold it together.

Things progressed toward divorce.  I have given it my all to save what was left, and things didn't look mendable.  I decided I needed to fast and go file for divorce with the help of my Savior.  I filed without my husband knowing.  A few short days later (before he received the papers) he showed up with a completely changed heart, and plead for forgiveness.  Against all odds, I knew that the Lord saved our marriage from complete destruction. I am living proof that the Lord hears our prayers and He will heal our hearts.  These lyrics from this song are some of my favorites, "And He will Heal those who trust Him, and make their hearts as gold".  We felt that truth come forward in our marriage.

I realize that the odds for divorce these days are high.  My heart breaks every time I hear about it.  More than anything I cry for the peace of the children and how it affects them for generations to come.  I have two children that were honestly carried through this trial with heavens help, and many angels.  I never kept my children from my husband, and in fact they are the ones who helped us both wake up and realize they are worth fighting for. 

Today, I stand as a witness that marital weaknesses can become strengths in and through our Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is the healing balm.  This week’s reading really helped me understand that through grace and mercy He may take us to the edge, but He is always right next to us helping us to see things through an eternal perspective.